DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

What Domestic Violence IS NOT

karla kwist 360 posts May 05, 2008 10:52 PM	I have summarized what domestic violence IS NOT, the history of domestic violence, as well as the American Bar Association’s commission on Domestic Violence report. You may notice that I include items in the lecture notes that you may have already read; however, it is my hope that through repetition, these concepts can become more easily integrated into your understanding of domestic violence. 1. What Domestic Violence IS NOT Domestic violence is not someone’s inability to control their anger, substance abuse, or stress level. Domestic violence is NOT an anger management issue. Domestic violence it is about one person’s choice to use power and control. It is not about someone’s cultural background, economics, or sexual orientation. It is not about masochistic women who provoke violence nor is it about couples mutually assaulting each other. It is not a family matter. Less than 20% of men that abuse have a psychological disorder. That is, the men make a choice to abuse. Often times these men appear too nice, move too fast in relationships, and are very slick. Abusers are not, generally, mentally ill. They are people who chose to use power and control. These same abuses that assert they “couldn’t control their anger” would never dream of hurting their bosses, co-workers, or friends. 2. History of Domestic Violence Domestic violence is as old as recorded history. It has been reported in virtually all societies, and in most countries it has been both legal and socially accepted until very recently. In ancient Roman times, a man was allowed by law to chastise, divorce, or kill his wife for adultery, public drunkenness, or attending public games- the very behavior that men were allowed, even expected to pursue. During the Middle Ages, a man’s right to beat his wife was beyond question, yet a woman could be burned alive for so much as threatening her husband. In 1405, French writer Christine de Pizan complained of the harsh beatings and injuries suffered by women at the hands of their husbands. Philosopher John Stuart Mill criticized wife torture as an atrocity in the 19th century. Susan B. Anthony is reported to have helped battered women escape their husbands in the 1840’s. The widespread acceptance of wife beating has often been reflected in popular culture. We have all heard the expression “rule of thumb” to describe a general guideline. It actually refers to the English Common Law which allowed a husband to beat his wife, provided the stick he used was no thicker than his thumb. Prior to this rule, a man could chastise his wife with “any reasonable instrument.” American courts approved this rule in 1824 when a Mississippi court held that husbands could use corporal punishment against wives with this limitation. By the early 1880’s, most states had laws limiting the amount of force that could be used against a wife, but few provided any penalties for violation. In 1883 Maryland finally made wife beating a crime. As late as the 1970’s, it was not uncommon for a prosecutor to base the decision of whether to bring charges against the abuser on the number of stitches required to close the woman’s wounds. Prosecutors joked about the “15 minute rule”. If, after spending 15 minutes with the victim, the lawyer was ready to beat her himself, he would not pursue his wife. In the late 1970’s, a poll found that 1 out of 5 Americans, including women, still approved of a man hitting his wife under some circumstances. The first book published on Domestic Violence was in 1974 in England, where the first domestic violence shelter was formed. People in the U.S. began founding safe houses and shelters at approximately the same time. In 1980, the Domestic Abuse Intervention Project was created in Duluth, MN. It founded one of the first systems to coordinate the efforts of police, prosecutors, civil and criminal court judges, shelters, legal advocates, probation officers, social service agencies, mental health professionals, and others involved in efforts to end domestic violence. As recently as the mid 1980’s, some judges in the US tended to view abuse as a symptom of a bad marriage rather than the cause of it, and a man who admitted to being sorry was viewed as deserving a second chance. There is no question that today most people consider wife beating wrong. Yet the question, “why doesn’t she leave?” is asked over and over. Today, every state in the U.S. has a domestic violence coalition, at least a few shelters, and laws that make domestic violence a crime. 3. Multidisciplinary Responses to Domestic Violence Identifying Domestic Violence: What is Domestic Violence? When spouses, intimate partners, or dates use physical violence, threats, emotional abuse, harassment, or stalking to control the behavior of their partners, they are committing domestic violence. Physical violence includes putting your hands on a person against their will. It also includes shoving, pushing, grabbing, pulling, or forcing some one to stay somewhere. Regardless of the relationship between two people, using physical violence against someone is a crime. Very few people identify themselves as abusers or victims. They may remain silent about the issue because of the havoc that domestic violence has created in their workplace and family lives. Victims may be silent about the abuse because of embarrassment or shame, or for fear that their batterers will hurt them if they tell other people about the violence. Abusers may minimize their actions or blame the victims for provoking the violence. Both victims and abusers may characterize their experiences as family quarrels that "got out of control." Think about the following questions to identify whether you or someone you know is a victim of domestic violence. Whether you are a professional or a friend, asking these questions (in private) about domestic violence can let victims or abusers know that the door is open for further discussion and help. If you or someone you know is being abused, develop a safety plan right away even if you do not intend to separate at this time. Screening Questions • Domestic violence is not confined to "certain groups." Do not try to predict who is a batterer and who is a victim of domestic violence. Ask the following questions to determine whether domestic violence is occurring. • Everyone argues or fights with their partner or spouse now and then. When you argue or fight at home, what happens? Do you ever change your behavior because you are afraid of the consequences of a fight? • Do you feel that your partner or spouse treats you well? Is there anything that goes on at home that makes you feel afraid? • Has your partner or spouse ever hurt or threatened you or your children? Has your partner or spouse ever put their hands on you against your will? Has your partner or spouse ever forced you to do something you did not want to do? Does your partner or spouse criticize you or your children a lot? • Has your partner or spouse ever tried to keep you from taking medication you needed or from seeking medical help? Does your partner refuse to let you sleep at night? • Has your partner or spouse ever hurt your pets or destroyed your clothing, objects in your home, or something which you especially cared about? Does your partner or spouse throw or break objects in the home during arguments? • Does your partner or spouse act jealously, for example, always calling you at work or home to check up on you? Is it hard for you to maintain relationships with your friends, relatives, neighbors, or co-workers because your partner or spouse disapproves of, argues with, or criticizes them? Does your partner or spouse accuse you unjustly of flirting with others or having affairs? Has your partner or spouse ever tried to keep you from leaving the house? • Does your spouse or partner make it hard for you to find or keep a job or to go to school? • Every family has their own way of handling finances. Does your partner or spouse withhold money from you when you need it? Do you know what your family's assets are? Do you know where important documents like bank books, check books, financial statements, birth certificates, and passports for you and members of your family are kept? If you wanted to see or use any of them, would your partner or spouse make it difficult for you to do so? Does your spouse or partner sometimes spend large sums of money and refuse to tell you why or what the money was spent on? • Has your spouse or partner ever forced you to have sex or made you do things during sex that make you feel uncomfortable? Does your partner demand sex when you are sick, tired, or sleeping? • Has your spouse or partner ever used or threatened to use a weapon against you? Are there guns in your home? • Does your spouse or partner abuse drugs or alcohol? What happens? Avoid Harmful Assumptions • There are no typical characteristics or profiles of abusers or victims. Abusers may appear very charming or may seem like explosive or angry individuals. Victims may seem extremely frightened or passive or may be quite angry about what is happening. Rather than determining whether someone fits a "type," determine whether the warning signs of abuse exist. • If some one declines to discuss domestic violence issues, consider whether the silence may be due to a fear of the batterer, or to cultural, race or gender issues which make it difficult to talk about such personal experiences. If you suspect that some one is a victim of domestic violence, say the following: o I am concerned about your safety. o You can talk to me about what is happening at home. o Domestic violence can harm your children. o Domestic violence is a crime. o I will help you find the legal and non-legal service referrals you need. Basic Warning Signs • Batterers use dominating, intimidating, terrifying, rule-making, stalking, harassing and injurious behaviors to control and manipulate the actions of their partners and sometimes their children. • The most obvious signs of domestic violence will be evidence of severe, recurring, or life-threatening abuse, for example, repeated bruises, broken bones, physical attacks, or threats with weapons. • Domestic violence is not just severe physical violence. It includes slaps, pushes, shoves, threats, emotional and financial abuse, false imprisonment, and any other behavior that batterers use to control and coerce victims. If one partner or spouse frequently makes the other ask permission to do things, domestic violence may be occurring. • Emotional abuse, where one partner continuously degrades or belittles the other, or accuses the other of being stupid, unattractive, a bad parent, unfaithful, or any other similar fault, can indicate domestic violence. • Many batterers use the legal system to punish their partners for taking steps to free themselves from domestic violence. Extremely litigious behavior following a separation may be a sign of domestic violence. • Batterers use issues arising in custody and visitation cases to try to re-establish control over their victims. For example, a batterer may fail to show up for scheduled visitation on time in order to harass the victim or create a reason for further contact. • Batterers frequently display extreme jealousy. The following controlling actions may signal that domestic violence is occurring: o Batterers often discourage their victims from seeking help. People who have difficulty making or keeping appointments may be trying to avoid letting their abusers know that they are seeking help. o Batterers frequently insist on accompanying victims to appointments, even if they have no involvement in the case. During office visits or phone calls, a batterer may try to speak for the victim, in order to control the information the victim shares with you. o Batterers harass, stalk, and keep tabs on their victims. If someone reports constant phone calls at work or home to keep track of their whereabouts, consider whether other warning signs of domestic violence are present. o Batterers try to isolate their victims from emotional support systems or sources of help. Be sensitive to persons who report that their partners do not allow them to see relatives, friends, or neighbors. Also, be alert for persons who tell you that their partners are excessively jealous of persons they see outside of the home and make statements such as "if I can't have you, nobody can." o Batterers also isolate their victims by sabotaging their ability to get and keep jobs. Clients who keep changing or losing jobs or "cannot" work because of their partners' disapproval or actions may be suffering from domestic violence. For help call the National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE 1-800-787-3224 (TTY) Compiled by Dr. Shanyn Aysta Phd.D
???????? Guest Feb 01, 2010 12:39 PM	?????????????,?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????,??????????????????,?????????????????????????????????
rolex Guest Jul 15, 2010 2:17 AM	breitling Amazon has released an update to its Kindle tag heuer application for the iPhone,cartier iPod touch and iPad. Kindle 2.1 hublot adds larger fonts and more font sizes for iPad users,patek philippe improves navigation between home and cartier watches archived item sections on the iPad,omega watches and adds a download progress indicator.
rolex Guest Jul 15, 2010 2:20 AM	fake watches The new version also provides iPhone and audemars piguet iPod touch users with the ability to search inside their Kindle e-books; omega the release notes indicate the search feature fake rolex will be coming to the iPad version in the next release. The breitling watches next version also promises a built-in dictionary and the replica watches ability to look up words in Google or Wikipedia. Kindle 2.1 is rolex available from the App Store as a free download.
cheap bags Guest Aug 17, 2010 8:18 PM	You have to get a pretty handbag for watching the world cup. There is a good thing we all take a look at Wholesale Handbags. Please come in and take a look at the lowest Genuine Cheap Bags. There is a great deal of utility of toddler Louis Vuitton Handbags. You may know already that For years Replica Bags. There is also another major reason why you can now find cheap Louis Vuitton Handbagsin the market Be faddish with Replica Miu Miu Handbags.